this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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