would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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