but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize