Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
