Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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