My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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