I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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