Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I want is dick and wine.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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