I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
