i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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