she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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