i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
