U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
