i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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