Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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