ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
