We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
