i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
