i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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