Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
