Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
