Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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