i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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