whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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