You're completely useless in the revolution.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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