I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
