Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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