So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
