I will die if light touches me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
