normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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