I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
