That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
