my sisters under your porch take her home
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
