I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
