i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
