When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
