every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
