I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I want to make a zoo with you.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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