What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fuck appropriateness.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
