try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
