Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
