Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
