He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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