Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
