He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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