So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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