you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
