My underwear smells like fireworks.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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