Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
