i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
