we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize