maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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