I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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