Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
