You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize