I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
50% drunk capacity currently
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
