you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
