Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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